How I Met My Husband
Updated: Aug 21, 2020
I didn't have the best examples of marriage growing up. My parents divorced when I was about four years old. They both remarried only to have those marriages dissolve later, as well. Marriage was never at the forefront of my mind, and neither were kids for that matter. That's a different post for another time. As I got older, there were countless happy hour discussions with friends on marriage - what kind of dress they wanted, how big their wedding was going to be, the cut of the engagement ring. I often felt left out or removed from these types of conversations because I just hadn't given thought to any of it. In my late twenties, I made peace with myself that marriage might not happen, and I was okay with that. I had my friends, family, career, that was enough for me.
I once read that 42% of black women never marry due to varying factors. Oh well, I remember thinking, guess I'll be joining that 42%. Fast forward a few years later, and online dating is blowing up. You could now get a date with a single swipe! I had profiles on Match, Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and Tinder. I dated a guy I met on Match for almost a year. I'd have to say there were more dating failures than successes. I'd take breaks and then get back on, only to be disappointed by someone not looking like their picture or ghosting after the second date.
So finally, how did I meet my husband? Well, we both swiped, right! Yep, I met my husband on Tinder of all places. People tell me it's pretty standard now for people to meet and marry someone they've met online, but back then, I didn't know anyone in that situation. Was it love at first sight like some fairytale? Nope. Later we learned we both had low expectations on the first date. If anything, I was excited to make a new friend. By the third date, I started to think there was something special brewing up. We have some differences like the fact that he is eight years older than me, an only child, I'm the eldest of eight, and of course, the obvious difference - he's white, and I'm black, which has never been an issue. We both had previously dated interracially. We also have a lot of things in common. We have similar values, enjoy the same types of music ( one of the things we bonded over first) movies, books, and the list goes on.
We've been on a lot of adventures together -- from my first camping trip to Big Sur (also the place we married), the music festival "Lightning in a Bottle" to…moving 3,000+ miles to The Big Apple! Eric proposed to me in the Bronx at Wave Hill, a beautiful botanical and cultural gardens overlooking the Hudson River. One of the best days of my life! Any doubts I had about marriage immediately flew out the window. I guess when you find the right one, anything is possible.